Scamming a Scammer, Part 6

It's getting clear that John is sick of waiting around for Eliza to find the scanner. However, I am sensing that this work relationship might be turning into something more for John. The asterisks are really pushing the points home in this one..Let's read...
From John to Eliza:
Yes i have been expecting your mail...Okay but since i did not hear from you so i think you might have a network problem and am very sorry for your sister incident and the embarrasment but i want you to tell her to always be calm in every thing she does,Okay because God dont want fighting its a very bad thing..Okay just talk to her an make sure she dont fight again and also about your freind issue.....Well i dont know why pple use to loose there opportunities about an offer,well is upto her but i want to know if you can do this work of helping our company in printing checks from home and sending it out through Ups or fedex which i will pay for there shipping online....I will give you the clients name to be on the check and the bank info to be on the check(I am giving you this offer because i trust you,You know its very risky giving out our company bank information but i am giving it to you since you will need it for printing out the checks and because i likes *loves* and trust you,))Okay i will give you the client names to be on the check and each amount to be on the check with the bank info to use and the signature..i know that you will be thinking of how to do this but you will need some materials and in the field of printing the checks.The versa Software Gold 2008 will take you through printing of the check because when you buy the versa software you will install it to your computer and it will take you through the process of inserting all the necessary informations to be on the check.....and after printing the checks you will put it into a ups or fedex envelope and also attach the shipping label that i will send to you for each of the names and you will gum it to the envelopes with the name corresponding with the name on the check and the name on the shipping label and drop it in either ups or fedex drop box that is in your area(which one i instruct you to use) and thats all about it.....but i want you to know that you will need the below materials for printing of the checks....

1 Versa Software Gold 2008
2 Blank Check Papers
3 Printer,Scanner and Ink
4 Ups and Fedex Envelopes

And you can get all this materials at office depot or Staples that is in your city...and i do understand your situation that you dont have enough money but i want you to go through the stress and get this materials so that you can do this work because you will be paid $1800 at the end of the month so i want you to either take a loan from your bank or from a freind and let them kow that you will pay at the end of the month and all the materials should not be costing than $220...Okay and let me know when you can get the materials and i discusses this with the board in the meeting that they should allow the secretary to send you some money for the materials but they said *NO that the company as run through a lot of loss dealing like that so when you get the materials then you will work and Get paid* So let me know when you can get the materials..
From Eliza to John
John,

I'm going to be honest. I don't have any idea what any of this means. What is versa software?! Where do I get blank check papers? Are those like rolling papers?! I'm beginning to think this isn't a job I can do. I don't know if you know what the economy is like here in the states since you are in Merry Old England, but I couldn't get a loan here. No one can. Not even the people down the street who just put in a microwave. I don't know how you expect me to do all this. I felt like you really knew me, and judging from the feelings I see you are starting to feel for me, I am just not so sure our business relationship is going to be a good idea.

Eliza