Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Redneck Drama

I decided to plant some annuals and herbs in a planter out front today (because I don't have a job). The redneck and his friend came home around 2pm and decided to walk to the fence and talk to Charlie. I finally engaged in friendly conversation with them. When I felt in a lull in the chat, I told them Charlie would be getting a sister soon. They promptly asked me if she was fixed, because they didn't want me to inbreed them. I quelled their fears. When asked where I was getting the new dog from, I told them Sarasota. Then-

Redneck: Oh I like Sarasota. You ever been to Siesta Key?
Me: No. Sounds nice, though.
Redneck: It's real pretty. We went down there to Disney World last week.
Me: Oh yeah? That sounds like fun!
Redneck: Yeah. Sure was. We camped at the KOA down there, road a bunch of rides. Spent the whole weekend. Then my wife left me.
Me: What?
Redneck: Which part.
Me: Your wife left?
Redneck: Oh. Yeah. She went to her mom's. She's done it before, but this time I think it's gonna stick.
Me: Wow. I'm really sorry.
Redneck: It's alright. She's got an energy drink problem.
Me: Oh. That's a shame.
Redneck: Yeah. It's better she be with her mom. I mean, her real mom was a prostitute and she only lived with her 'till she was three, but still those are formative years, you know?
Me: Oh absolutely! You're absolutely right.
Redneck: I mean, gull dern. (Not making this up...)


  1. didn't think you'd get all that info for just planting a flower box.