Saturday, May 30, 2009

Best Worst Night Ever

You ever have a night when all the stars align to make the greatest night ever, and everything goes wrong?
Went to a new Mexican restaurant tonight. The place was packed and the chips and salsa were awesome right off the bat. Our server, She-of-Little-English I call her, quickly took our drink orders and whisked away.
The trouble began shortly thereafter when all the drinks were delivered minus the Strawberry Margarita. A cheese dip order was also overlooked, much to the dismay of the pregnant woman sitting at our table. When a manager happened to pass by, we informed him of the missing items and his response sort of indicated he knew. He knew where all of the missing orders were stored and would quickly retrieve them from the locked vault behind the kitchen. And he did. Except the he brought a regular margarita and some cheese dip that appeared to be mozzarella and water warmed up in the microwave.
As the "appetizer" sat and cooled, our empty drink glasses began to pile up at the edge of the table. Our waitress, a busboy, and the manager passed by several times before eventually someone (who I guess works at the restaurant) waved her arm and said something inaudible. Several minutes later our drink were refilled.
When the meals made it to the table, we all felt rather pleased. All except for the pregnant woman, the only patron in our party with no plate laid in front of her. We wait several moments for someone to come by with her plate, but unfortunately, several moments wasn't long enough. I flagged down our waitress and showed her the empty spot at our table and she nodded knowingly. She knew about the missing-orders vault as well. She left and returned within moments food. She then brought her tip swiftly from 18% to 15% with one question: What did you order again?
The food wasn't as good as it looked. David's fajita meat lay charred on an overheated skillet, literally tasting of grill garbage. The fish tacos fell apart, the beans looked like the gruel Oliver was forced to eat in the orphanage, and something tasting strongly of mold left the nachos sitting untouched at the edge of the booth. Notice how when the food sucks, no one stops to ask you how your meal was?
We thought we'd top the night off with ice cream and the worst scary movie ever, "Quarantine." Shot entirely in first person (a la Blair Witch Project), we all felt more sick during the closing credits than we did after dinner. The ice cream sitting on top of nasty Mexican food didn't help either. We couldn't help but laugh ourselves into a coma at how ridiculously bad everything we attempted to do turned out to be. Sometimes a bad night can be pretty awesome. :)


  1. uh, you had to know that fish tacos anywhere outside of california were going to be horrible.