The things I learned during my first official family meeting:
1. There is no such thing as putting too much sour cream on the table.
2. Tony Dungy is not a good public speaker.
3. There will be a terrorist attack on America within the next few months and when it happens, we will meet at Krispy Kreme (if the "Hot Doughnuts Now" sign is illuminated).
4. Not only have our stocks all been cut in half, but there is no way we're ever getting any of the money back.
5. None of us will have health insurance within 3 years, thanks to the government, and old people should just accept their fate.