Monday, February 9, 2009

A Conversation in New York

David and I sat in a little bakery/cafe squished up against a table with two older men while eating lunch. Every time David started to talk to me about something I gave him the big eyed crinkled mouth look: Shut up, I'm trying to listen. You can't write this stuff.

Note: Read this with a solid New York accent mixed in with some liberal, but older, Jew.

Son: I tell ya, the weather. The weather's been nice.
Father: Yeah. Yeah. I tell ya.

Son: Ya knees ok?
Father: Pretty good. I keep tellin' this doc I gotta find a closer pharmacy. I gotta go all the way
to Duane...
Son: ...Oh yeah?...
Father: ... and it kills my knee.
Son: Oh yeah. That walk's a killer.
Father: Oh yeah, I tell ya. A killer.

Father: You know Sandy forgot to fill it last week.
Son: Oh yeah?
Father: She's forgetful, you know.
Son: Uh huh.
Father: Forgetful.

Son: You eat breakfast this morning?
Father: Yeah, yeah. Cereal.
Son: What kind of cereal are you eating now?
Father (leans in): I tell you what. I'm gettin' the good stuff now.
Son: Yeah? What's the good stuff?
Father: Total. Total is the cereal.
Son: Oh yeah?
Father: Yeah. Have you looked at Total?
Son: No.
Father: It has 100% of everything in it.
Son: Yeah?
Father: Down the side of the box. The whole list is all the vitamins and it's all 100%.
Son: Yeah? How about the fiber?
Father: 100%.
Son: Really.
Father: It's a lot of fiber. Trust me.
Son: Hmph.

Son: You know how many lamps I have?
Father: What?
Son: There are 6 lamps in the living room. I've got that tall silver one...
Father: ...oh yeah...
Son: ...and the other tall one that sits against the wall in there, doesn't even work.
Father: Yeah.
Son: And about 3 of those table lamps. And I'm thinkin' of selling them.
Father: Selling them? Whose gonna buy your lamps?
Son: No, you just put 'em on Craigslist. You just sell 'em that way.
Father: Oh, oh, yeah. You told me about that. Sounds fishy.
Son: Not at all...
Son: Very easy to use. Very safe.
Father: I tell ya.

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