My husband and I went out to dinner that night. I sat at the table daydreaming about how great it will be when Abe is out and I don't have to deal with these doctors anymore. I decided earlier that day that despite this pregnancy being stressful and difficult (as I'd imagine most are), I want to have another kid JUST to try different doctors and start with what I know now.
At 8am the next morning, my husband was putting on his fancy shoes and getting ready to hit the road. I was still rolling around in bed because, honestly, peeling out of bed before 8am feels like a sledgehammer to the soul. He came in to give me a kiss goodbye and the phone rang. Oh dear lord, I'm not ready for the fight. I'm half asleep. Please don't let it be the Endo nurse.
"Sure, yes, I'll see if she's available...Erin? It's the Endo nurse."
DARN DARN DOUBLE DARN.
I tried to perk up and make it sound like "good morning" weren't the first words I'd uttered that day when I picked up the phone. I had that half adrenaline, half heart palpitations thing going, hoping that I was awake enough to make sense in my arguments and remember all of my questions.
"Hi, Erin. How ya doin' babe?" she asked.
Wait. Babe? Hmm. This is new.
"I'm doing just fine, thanks, how are you?"
She skipped the answer and told me she'd pulled my file and spoken to the doctor, who she calls "Doc". I find this insulting to people who have actually been doctors for more than 10 years and earned the nickname "Doc." She went on to say that Doc had no idea I wasn't on insulin. (Well, surprise, surprise. Doc hasn't spoken to me in 8 weeks and you forgot to write it down in my chart. But who wants to dredge up the past?) And then...she said, "And Doc said that's fine."
Wait again. "Doc" didn't argue?? Ooooh reeeealllly??
"Doc said as long as you're keeping your daily numbers in check, there's no need to go on insulin now since you're due in 4 weeks."
I was ready for a fight. This sudden compliance with the validity of my concerns COMPLETELY blindsided me. My first instinct was to say, "Now you listen to me, nurse lady..." but I didn't need to.
"So, anyway, doc said that if your numbers do start to go up, we'll need to revisit the insulin but for the mean time, you're doing a great job with the diet and you don't need to go back on it."
"Oh," I said. "Ok, great. So there's no concern about my sugars?"
"Nope. You're all set. Just keep faxing in those numbers every week and let us know how you're doing, ok dear?"
Dear?? WHO ARE YOU?
I hung up the phone and sat in stunned silence for a moment. My husband was waiting for me to tell him what she said. When I gave him the other side of the conversation, he smiled and raised his hand in the air. "High five! Team Cohen! Way to be an informed patient who thinks for herself and listens to her instincts!!"
Ha! Yeah! Booyah! Abe and I are fine! I questioned injecting myself with toxins everyday for the "health" of my baby, and vindication was mine. I felt so proud that finally, for the first time during this pregnancy, I listened to my body FIRST. Now, none of this is to say that I won't have lunch with Clyde again if my baby's health depended on it. We are lucky enough to live in a country with immediate access to life-saving medical solutions. But somewhere along the lines, we forgot that we can think for ourselves instead of nodding and carrying our prescriptions to the pharmacy. Scary!
So Abe and I continue to live a protein-rich, insulin-free life together. Hopefully, though, he'll choose to live that life SEPARATELY from me sooner than later. :)