Friday, August 6, 2010

Analyze This

Ok, dream analyzers. Tell me what this one means:

So I'm 9 months pregnant and helping a friend get out of a maze. I black out and when I wake up, I'm in a hospital room and I've given birth. There are about 30 nurses meandering around, as well as my whole family. One of the nurses is holding my baby, so I approach her and she asks me if I want to hold "my baby." I say yes, remarking to myself how strange it is that I can walk without any pain.
I take the blanket and in it is an African Parrot. I'm trying to hold the parrot like a baby, but it's really fighting me. It hates being on its back. It starts pecking me with its beak and eventually gets out of my hands and flies away. I'm really disappointed; I want to see Abe.
So I turn around to wash my hands in my kitchen sink, which is there in the room, and someone hands me "my baby" again. It's a little Filipino girl, probably about 6 months old. She has a really runny, crusty nose. I start to feel horrible about myself as a mother. I don't want this little girl at all. She's cute and nice, but I don't love her. I love Abe. And I can't find him. I wipe her nose and put her on my hip.
Then the doctor emails me. My computer in there in the room (luckily) and I read that he has never seen a patient like me before in his entire career and that it's all really strange. I concur in my head. I turn around and ask how much Abe weighed when he was born. My mother, in scrubs, tells me he weighed just over 4 pounds and if I had carried him any longer I would have had a lot of pressure an felt very uncomfortable. She still didn't tell me where he was.
Then another doctor comes in to give my family, and all the nurses, a power point presentation about pediatricians. He recommends to me that I should see one pediatrician in particular, an Asian man, because my daughter is Filipino. My mother agrees (she's sitting behind me and wearing black skinny jeans with a ton of jewelry now). I turn and tell her I like the pediatrician I chose and I don't want to change and she looks at me like I'm crazy. "Oh," she says. "Well, I like this Asian one." I leave the room and start walking down a hall to find Abe. I'm sobbing because I feel terribly that I don't like that little girl.
And then I wake up and pee.

Analyze. Go.

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