Wednesday, March 31, 2010

What Doesn't Suck

Ok, it's not all bad. Here are a few things that rock about being pregnant:

1. I never have to suck my stomach in. I'm one of those people that only gains weight in her midsection. This means boobs and stomach. I'd kill for a bubble butt. And because I'm 5 feet tall, 4 pounds straight onto my stomach looks ridiculous. So I've always had to fight to keep my weight under control and to suck my stomach in. Now? I stick it OUT! I bump into thing occasionally, but who cares? I love, love, love having a big stomach that people call "cute."

2. Pregnancy nails. Did you know about this? I'd heard rumors, but hello! I used to file my nails about once every two weeks. I constantly applied nail hardener and similar things to keep the from chipping off. Now I have to cut them at least once a week to keep the suckers from growing like weeds! Oh, and chip them? Not a chance. My hands look so beautiful.

3. Pregnancy hair. You know how hair comes out in your brush, or if you have long hair a bunch falls out when you let it down? Or the little hunks that float down the shower drain after you shampoo? That doesn't happen when you're pregnant. It all stays in and holds on. If you have thin hair like me, it's the miracle you've always prayed for.

4. People are nice to you. They see the belly, and they open doors. They let you go first in any line. They smile and ask nice questions. It's a "get out of jail free" card in any situation. Oh, and everyone thinks you look beautiful and adorable, no matter how ridiculous you really look.

5. You can eat anything and no one judges you. In fact, they ENCOURAGE you! I snuck into my friend's pantry one night and started eating her salt and vinegar chips. When she walked into the kitchen and saw me I paused mid crackly bite and she said, "You should probably take those home if you like them. Or just finish them." What?! You want me to finish the food in your pantry? No problem!

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