The day before we were due at the doctor's to get a blood test, we decided it was best to take a test at home. Our blood test would take 5 hours, and I couldn't imagine sitting and waiting 5 hours for the results. That way, even if the results were negative, we could be ready for the next day. David wouldn't be home from work until 6pm, so I had the entire day to net raccoon-sized butterflies in me stomach and put them in a jar for use wall art later.
I went to the drug store to pick up a test. I also needed a refill on the drug the doctor put me on to help control my sugar. I couldn't take it anymore if I was pregnant. At the end of the day, the test would determine whether or not I would need the drugs anymore. I went back and forth as to whether or not it was a good idea to refill the medicine.
If I did refill it, it could jinx the test, or scare away the positive result.
If I didn't refill it, it meant I was so sure I was pregnant that I didn't even need the medicine anymore.
If I did refill it, it might be like admitting I don't think I'm pregnant.
If I didn't refill it, and I wasn't pregnant, then not only do I have the pain of not being pregnant but I also had to make another trip to the drug store.
Finally, someone in the pharmacy department noticed I was just standing there staring at the yeast infection medications and asked me if I needed help. I refrained from asking what he thought I should do. I just grabbed a pregnancy test and headed back to refill the prescription. The lovely pharmacist got my meds and checked me out and looked me right in the eye. She smiled and said, "Congratulations, and good luck!"
Well, if "to refill or not to refill" wasn't enough, now I've got "Congratulations, and good luck." WHICH IS IT? CONGRATULATIONS OR GOOD LUCK? I'm looking for signs here, lady. I need a clue. I'm see omans everywhere. And the best you can come up with is Congrats and Good luck? You couldn't just say one or the other? BOTH? Because now you're making re-think the brand of pregnancy test I bought and if I bought the wrong one and it's results are inaccurate, I'm going to sue you.
I drove home thinking and re-thinking everything I was doing. "If I make it to the stop sign before the end of this commercial, I'll be pregnant." "If I don't have to press on the break until I get to the driveway, I'll be pregnant." Stupid, superstitious games that were making me nuts, but I couldn't stop playing them.
It took 794 hours for David to come home and when he finally did, a guy I work for called me with an urgent request. I probably seemed like a total flake, because I couldn't focus on anything he was asking me to do. I just kept saying, "Ok, alright, no problem, I'll do it..." when he was asking me yes or no questions. That never-ending conversation was nearly the death of me.
I decided I would pee on the stick and turn it upside down. I didn't want to see the results. And since David felt like he had so little to do with the entire process, I decided he should read the results. We sat in the kitchen together and stared at each other, waiting for 2 minutes...