After the Green M&M told me it was time to give this a “fair try”, I suddenly got very nervous. There were PLENTY of instructions on how to take the pills, administer the injections, and follow the “doctor speak” about my progress so far in the cycle. But no one had told me if there were certain things I needed to do to actually “try”?! By that point the Green M&M was gone, and I was too embarrassed to ask Elvira in billing if there was some trick to it all. So the second I got home, I went back to Google School. I know, I know what you’re thinking. Bad choice, Erin. But I had been able to so carefully control everything up until this point, and all of a sudden I was just supposed to wait and see? That seemed way too risky.
First I Googled, “The best sexual positions for conceiving.” Let me be the example for the class on this subject forever and ever: NEVER ENTER THE WORD "SEXUAL" INTO A SEARCH STRING. IT WILL NOT BE WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. I clicked away from that screen so fast, I felt like I was trying to keep THE NEIGHBORS from knowing what those websites were called.
Next, I Googled, “How to get pregnant.” Well, that was the hot ticket to the baby train right there. Hundreds of woman had posted personal stories of how they got pregnant. Pillow under the back, legs straight up in the air, thinking positively, headstand, leaning to the side you ovulated on…it was all there. So I took every single one of them seriously and decided that if this was all I had control over, then this is what we would have to do. I mean, we’d spent good money to get this egg out and who knew the next time we’d get another one!? We had to make this time COUNT!
When David got home, I explained to him that this evening we would be “trying” while I laid on my side on a stack of seven pillows with my legs hung from the ceiling fan and directly afterward, his job was to stand me on my head and hold me there for 30 minutes. Oh, and then think positively. He assured me that millions of women became pregnant without doing any of these things. And even after I referenced the Yahoo chat room highlighting the importance aligning your Chi in the hours before trying to conceive, he still insisted everything would be fine.
After the trying had commenced, we made an appointment with a nutritionist. It seemed important to both of us that my insulin resistance be controlled if I were to get pregnant, but not by eating meat and fat. It didn’t seem healthy, and my body sure wasn’t happy about the change in diet. And when we met Dr. Kale, he seemed positive that we could come up with a solution that met both the needs of my fertility doctor and my falling-down butt. Both David and I were very excited about a new way of eating, and about getting through the next two weeks when we could finally take a test. The waiting game began.