7 Months, Just Sayin'

It's getting more difficult to write ironic little anecdotes on my blog when all I want to do is sleep and eat and politely ask that everyone stay the hell out of my way. A simple trip to the grocery store or out to dinner is about the longest I can typically contain my anxiety, frustration, or outright pissed-off-ed-ness at nothing and everyone. I'm working on giving myself credit for the whole "making a person" thing. :)

Abe had an appointment this week and the doctor measured him right on par at 29 weeks. He's always been a very good measurer. Bonnie numbers have been fairly stable and Bonnie and Clyde are becoming a part of the family. I wake up, say good morning to Clyde (sometimes begrudgingly, because I'm not a morning person), say a quick hello to Bonnie (I know I'm going to see her again in an hour anyway), and then go about my day eating only the things that make us happy and healthy and completely miserable that we can't have cake. Most days I'm very excited for him to be here, but there are those days that I make a quick run to Target or the dogs bark maniacally at the UPS man when I think, "Crap. This is going to be really hard with a kid on the outside." I know, I know, just you wait.

On a "hey, that's neat!" note, we took a birthing class and a breast-feeding class this past week. (David did come with me to the breast-feeding class, bless his heart.)
Did you know that a baby turns itself into the right position twice during labor?! Yep. Once to fit the head through the pelvis and again to fit the shoulders through. The doctors don't even need to tell him to do that. He just does it. (Smartest baby ever already.)
And did you know that if you place a newborn on his mother's chest, eventually he will find her breast and start nursing on his own?!?! You don't even have to plug him on there. If only the La Leche League knew...they'd be scared out of their minds.
If nothing else, these classes have been a fabulous distraction amidst all the growing and spreading and eating. And the ridiculous students in class make it all worth it. You know, like the guy who asked if a woman can take Tylenol during labor for the pain. Yeah. I'd like to be there when you offer her Tylenol. (Can we all take a minute and picture it?) Or the guy who asked if caffeine/alcohol during labor might help relieve stress. Wrong on so many levels, I'm not even going to touch it. Or, my personal favorite, the girl who asked if there was colostrum (that's the sugary, clear stuff that comes out of the breast before milk) in baby formula. If I was the teacher, I think I may have just stared at her for a few blank seconds before answering, "Yes, sweetie. Yes, there is colostrum as well as magic."She's probably too far gone, anyway.