Thursday, June 25, 2009


Not sure if you've ever seen the "Really?!" segment on Saturday Night Live, but last night David and I re-created it in the car on the way home from the Jacksonville 48-Hour Film Festival.

Really 48-Hour Film Festival? You're going to force the finalists to sit for 2 hours to show ALL the films at the awards ceremony even though EVERYONE in the room just came to see who won!? You didn't stop and think: gee, this audience is here because they MADE the films. Think they've already seen them?! Should they show every film nominated at the Oscars, too?
And really, you think it creates an atmosphere of camaraderie when the filmmakers are forced to sit and critique every film in the top 15 in a sweltering theatre while waiting to receive an award?!
Really?! No one on the film festival team considered including some neutral entertainment besides A NEVER-ENDING RAFFLE FOR GOLF TICKETS AND BRUNCHES?!
Really, 48-Hour Film Festival? You didn't read the bios for the four judges prior to the awards ceremony to notice the self-appreciating nature of their 6 paragraph-long explanation of their qualifications for judging? Really?
And after you show all 15 movies and my poor in-laws are looking at their watches, already having forgotten what my movie was about, you begin to give 27 consecutive awards to the same 3 movies? Really? You couldn't spread it out a little bit more than that?
And there was no way to produce the event efficiently so that when you called people up to present awards, they were aware they'd be called up and wouldn't sit in the middle of the back row and then have to trip and awkwardly run onstage? Really? And you couldn't give them the crap written by a monkey they were supposed to read BEFORE they made the 3 mile jog down to the stage?
Really? The winner of the 48-Hour Film Festival WASN'T ONE OF THE FILMS TO RECEIVE ANY OTHER AWARDS EXCEPT FOR BEST ACTRESS?! And the two greatest films out of the entire competition barely get so much as a nod? REALLY?!
And you're surprised, really, when half the audience stands up to leave when they hear this because they're all too painfully aware of the fact that the winning film cast and crew just happens to be sitting DIRECTLY NEXT TO ONE OF YOUR JUDGES?!
And after 2 days of shooting, 2 weeks of waiting, and 2 hours of deadly awards-ceremony-jokes, they only thing our team won was 2 tickets from the raffle to see The Wallflowers? One Headlight? Really?!
Just let us stay home and send us an email. We don't mind losing. But we do mind losing to crap. Really.

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