Scamming a Scammer, Part 8

From Me:
John,
I feel like the compassion and kindness are gone. Your emails have become curt and pushy. I just feel like you're bossing me around. In the beginning I really felt like I had a future working with you; maybe even more. Now I'm beginning to think you were just sweet-talking me because you've got some sort of American quota to meet with your company. I want to trust you but it's really hard when you talk to me this way. What happened to us, John?
Eliza
From John:
Eliza is not like that..Okay i want you to know that all i am doing is for you to work with my company and have a taste in our honesty and how we work...Okay eliza let me know if you can do the work bcoz we have lots of clients that are waiting to receive check this week and we have not seen anyone to print the check and i hope you will be the one..Okay

From Me:
John,
I desperately want to taste your honesty. I asked the woman at the library if I could use the library scanner. Her name is Lorraine. And she told me that I have to have my identities WITH me if I want to scan them. Hello? It would have been nice to tell me that to begin with, John. I wasted $1.60 using the bus and then another $4 that I had to give to the bum sleeping in front of the computer to bribe him to sleep in front of the magazines. (Isn't that where he belongs anyway?!) So I had to go all the way back home and get my identities. And then, and only then, did I realize I don't know what identities are. I thought I only had one, but I did see Dr. Phil talking about having more than one identity. He called it "Multiple Personalities." I went up to the grocery store where Lyle works (he's my friend) and asked him if he could help me find my multiple personalities. He said that he could just name them out loud, but I told him I needed to write them down. He is going to come over tonight and help me find them.
I now have a whole folder that I bought from Staples with our conversations all in them. I wanted to get organized NOW so that once I start working for you, I can be the best whatever-it-is I can be. I also bought 2 pencils and a stapler, though I think the stapler was excessive. It was an impulse buy, ya know?
Ok, I'm going to be emailing you tomorrow morning with my identities. Then we can start work!!!
Eliza