Monday, November 1, 2010

Through a Husband's Eyes

I asked my husband to write a blog from a man's perspective on what it is like to be a first-time dad. It took him a few days, and this is what he decided to send me. It is the text-transcripts between himself and Doula Schmoula in the days and hours leading up to Abe's birth. I realized that my husband was somewhat freaked out while I was in labor, but even I was surprised to read his level of concern and self-doubt throughout those early morning hours. 

2010-08-26            Afternoon, Three Days before Abe was Born
2:28:23           From Husband            At doctor now. 4cm and 80% efaced.  Doc said we are in labor. Still talking.  Will keep u apprised. I think he wants to admit us. Fighting to go back home.

2:37:22            From Husband            Ok. We wiggled our way out. Gonna head home.
2:37:30            From Husband            Call you in a bit
2:38:12            From Doula Schmoula  Um. If you're not contracting, you're not in labor. ;)
2:44:38            From Husband            She is contracting. Several times an hour. Nothing consistent or regular, but strong enough to stop her from doing anything
2:47:27            From Doula Schmoula            Ok.

2010-08-29            The Early Morning Hours of the Day Abe was Born
04:13:41            From Husband            Were up. She's still exhausted and having some contractions. It seemed like she got some rest
04:14:36            From Husband            From about 10-3 there wasn't much but now were moaning. She says she wants to be done. Dunno what the next step is
04:16:59            From Doula Schmoula The only way to get to the end is to walk through it. Do these contractions seem like before or do they seem different?
04:18:29            From Husband            In the middle of one. Seem the same as when we left for the hospital From what I can tell
04:20:18            From Husband            She's just too exhausted. Says she can't take it anymore. Dunno what the threshold is. Should we go in?
04:21:24            From Doula Schmoula   Ok. The key here is to not ask her to do things but to tell her, i.e. "this is the next step". Put her in the tub and feed her something. Toast and egg maybe?
04:22:18            From Husband            In tub now. I gave her some melon.
04:24:43            From Husband            Making toast w peanut butter now
04:26:22            From Doula Schmoula   That is good. As far as the "i can'ts" go, we know she can. And it is best to try to keep her in the moment and out of her head. Is she relaxing or is she fighting them?
04:28:10            From Husband            They are progressing. The mental is tough on her. The I cants are rolling in
04:29:49            From Doula Schmoula            How long as she been in tub?
04:31:25            From Husband            Maybe 20. She's out now. Got out on her own while I was making toast
04:32:35            From Doula Schmoula            Ok. Eat some toast and then go for a walk. Is she shakey?
04:33:33            From Husband            She is walking the room. She is shakey she said. Walking and moaning
04:34:15            From Doula Schmoula            Moaning with contractions or the whole time?
04:35:08            From Husband            Pretty much the whole time
04:35:35            From Doula Schmoula            How quick are they coming?
04:35:55            From Husband            3 min or so. On the bed in her knees for contractions. Kinda doing what she wants. Doesn't wanna listen
04:37:43            From Doula Schmoula            That's fine. She is following her instincts. Knee chest is good. Or on ball doing big circles. How are you feeling?
04:38:31            From Husband            K. She is discouraged. I’m worried for her. It's tough. She said she doesn't think you understand. Dunno what that means. They seem to be getting more intense to me
04:40:16            From Doula Schmoula            You think i should head back over?
04:41:06            From Husband            Maybe. If you don't I would probably take her in. Just don't have the confidence
04:42:50            From Doula Schmoula            There isn't an absolute right or wrong here. Let me change clothes and i'll see you shortly. Need coffee?
04:43:46            From Husband            If you're already stopping. If not just come here and we can make some here.

04:45:18            From Husband            Ohh. Maybe come here? It's making me nervous. Seems to be getting stronger
04:45:29            From Doula Schmoula            K. I'll hurry.
04:46:18            From Husband            K. Call when you're here. I'll let you in
04:46:26            From Doula Schmoula            K

05:18:59            From Husband            You could probably get coffee if you want. She might have hit a rhythm
05:20:28            From Doula Schmoula            K. I'll run back to the Gate Station. Whaddya want?
05:21:37            From Husband            Just a coffee. Thnx.
05:22:09            From Doula Schmoula            Sure

05:40:39            From Doula Schmoula            I'm here

Doula Schmoula Left the Delivery Room to Update the Moms
10:58:14            From Husband            they're getting delivery cart ready

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