A Movement

When they tell you it's "so amazing" to feel your baby moving inside of you, there's no way to truly understand it until you feel it. I wake up constantly at night to change positions, and if I wait a few moments, he usually changes positions, too! He giggles after I eat and stretches while I watch TV. There's nothing like it in the world, and now knowing that "he" is a "he", I feel so much more connected and in love.

What they don't tell you is that you can feel the baby move even when you're peeing. Yeah, that's right. On the toilet. Especially if it's a big pee, assumedly because the pee was taking up a lot of room and he can stretch out after I empty it all out. I usually have to lean forward a little bit to fully empty my bladder so that I only have to go 17 times a day as opposed to 20. That makes me feel like I'm squishing my baby UP AGAINST my pee, and I feel horrible about that. My baby is better than being squished against pee. And don't even get me started about the poo. (Too late, you got me started.) Something about my uterus taking up the majority of my abdominal cavity squishes my intestines, so now I can FEEL my poo moving through my tummy. And I'm pretty sure if I can feel it, he can probably feel it. And that's horrible. My baby is stuck being pushed around by poo and pee. If he can get pushed around by that stuff, what happens when he's out and has to face the kids at school? Is he going to have a complex about the fact that he couldn't even stand up to poo and pee?!?! IS HE GOING TO BE THE KID THAT GETS BEAT UP EVERYDAY AND HAS TO BE HOMESCHOOLED????

This is the stuff you have time to think about in the bathroom while praying that the leafy greens and stool softeners prevent the dreaded hemorrhoids everyone warns you about. Pregnancy really is a miracle.