Packing

Going to L.A. tomorrow to see what still feels like the friends I see everyday, but haven't seen since the end of January. So excited to kick back and enjoy some totally comfortable laughter.

Comfortable laughter is easily taken for granted.

Packing a bag to go somewhere that feels more like home than your home does is really interesting. The things I pulled out of my closet are the t-shirts, the hoodies, the cut off jeans. I found a few cute pieces with which to accessorize, but packed 4 pairs of flip flops and a head band after that. I'm looking forward to feeling the same way I packed.

Tutoring

Erin: Hey there, how is school going?
Student: Good.
Erin: You turn in your English paper?
Student: Yep.
Erin: On time?
Student: Um, probly.
Erin: Awesome. Good for you. Tired today?
Student: Ahh, yeah.
Erin: What time did you turn the TV off?
Student: Probly like, 10 or 11.
Erin: Closer to 10?
Student: Probly.
Erin: Great. Do you have homework tonight?
Student: Nah, not really.
Erin: Ok. Do you want to go over anything with me?
Student: Don't think so.
Erin: Do you want to go home?
Student: Sure. Whatever.
Erin: Great. Good session today. Thanks for coming.

Bella

Best Mother's Day gift, ever. :)

Scamming a Scammer, Part 11

From Eliza to John:
John,
Hello? I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY. THAT'S WHY I WAS LOOKING FOR A JOB. But if you will just send me your address, I can send you my identities in the MAIL. Geez.

You don't watch CHUCK?! You're crazy. It's such a good show. He's so funny and I'm always wondering whether someone is coming after him for the intercept or his cute little button nose! I totally understand, you're not going to the Michael Jackson concert. It's funny that when you are as wealthy as you are, you can afford to go to things like that but don't have the time. What a trade off to do what you love, huh?
Also, when I first read your response to number 2, I didn't think you understood the meaning of the word "sew." But you know, after I read it for a second time, I began to think you understand the deepest meaning of the word.

Sincerely,
Eliza

From Eliza to John
John,
It's been four days. What is going on? Did you go on holiday?
Eliza

From John to Eliza
Ohh Eliza am just getting back now and i am just receiving your messages and i want you to know that the help the company can render to you is that you should pay a little funds and get it sent to us and you will receive the materials..Ok

From Eliza to John
John,
What's is the company's address?,
Eliza

Scamming a Scammer, Part 10

From me to John:

John,

You have a BOARD? This is a much bigger operation than I thought. I am just continuously surprised and honored. And on top of having a Board, you guys bought me a laptop. Unbelievable. You are the most caring group of...whatever you guys are...that I have ever worked for.  Although, I do have to tell you one this, and please take it constructively: you guys are a little bit forgetful. If I had $450, don't you think I would have scanned my identities, bought the versa software and blank checks, and jumped on a plane out to London to have tea?! I don't have any money, John. This is why I need you. To make money! If you can just give me your address, I'll send you my indentities. Besides, this guy in the trailer park has recently made the big mistake of telling me he was getting a computer from his brother and I'm going to sleep with him so I can start using it.

Also John, I was thinking last night while bathing my kids about your picture in the tropical unknown place. I need to get to know you a little bit better if we are going to be working together. I mean, I've stuck with your company this long and I hardly know anything about you! So, I'd like to ask you 3 fun questions. This is just to help you and I feel more comfortable working with eachother.

1. Do you watch Chuck?

2. If you could sew anything, what would you sew?

3. Will you be attending Michael Jackson's first concert back in London?

Please answer them in your next email.

Thanks,

Eliza

 From John to Me:

Okay I want you to know that you need to provide some funds before the laptop can be released to you Ok and the least that can be accepted from you is $350 so i want you to try and get this funds before Monday so that the company will not employ another person to this Position..Okay and also below is the answer to your question:

1 I dont watch Chuck

2 If i wants to sew anything its better i sew behaviour plus character to pple around me to make a good report about me when am not around.

3 I am very busy to go the Michael Jackson Concert

Okay i will be waiting to read from you.

Scamming a Scammer, Part 9

From John:
Okay Eliza its Good to hear about that so i will like to know the kind of the work you want to do for us is it the printing of checks job or th other so let me know while i await your scanned identity tomorrow.

Also Eliza do you have your own connection at home or you do go to a cyber cafe?Kindly let me know.Because you will need to have a yahoo messenger and you must always be online everytime...Okay so i want you to let me know.

From me, 3 weeks later...
John,

I know you have probably been very concerned about me. Let me tell you why it's been so long. On April 1st, I got your email and took all of my identity to the library. I scanned it, just like you said, and even illegally downloaded yahoo messenger onto their computer. I mean, kids download porn and stuff all the time. It's not like the messenger will do any harm. At least that's what I thought. Little did I know, some brainiac psycho guy decided to play an April fool's joke on everyone. I know you don't know what that is since your Londish. It's basically a day when you try to mess with people and pinch them and stuff. Not like Valentine's. Anyway, someone put a program on the computers at the library that immediately kicks you off if you try downloading anything and THEN the program cancels your account as a big April Fool's PRANK. Well, I wasn't having it. I told the librarian, but apparently she was in on it too. As if this wasn't bad enough, they're still playing along with the joke and it's APRIL 20!!
So now I have no Internet access and I can't even send you the identities that I scanned. We don't have a cyber cafe. I asked Marv (he's the town computer technician/cheese maker). Can I just send you my identity in the mail? I have stamps and envelopes. It's been so long and I'm just ready to start work. Do you have an address I could send everything to?

Sincerely,
Eliza

From John

Okay so how do you want to work for us since you dont have a internet connection well i have discussed this with the Board and we have bought a new Dell Laptop for you and we have arraged for your interenet connection but we are in doubt if this is a good idea and if we are not gonna loose so the company is asking you to pay $450 and you will receive the Laptop and also some other documents that you will need and also get back to us with your full name and address where to send the Laptop to and as soon as we receive the money via western union we will send the laptop to you so let me know if you will send the money so that i can give you the agent information to send the money to.

Thanks and am waiting for your quick response to this effect.

(You hear that? He bought me a laptop for me to buy...)

Justice

I have written to Ms. Beyonce many times asking her to stop singing. Up until this point, she has always had the upper hand and the ultimate argument: Girl could sing. Granted the songs are all terrible, but she sure could sing.
Well, thanks to Howard Stern, I now have the upper hand. Justice is SO sweet.