Scamming a Scammer, Part 2

From John Doe:
I really like the way that you respond to my message,it really makes my laugh and give me a little happiness and what work are you doing before?well i want you to know that for you to pickup funds for us we need to make sure you are trutworthy and honest so due to this the company is requesting for your Social Security Number,you need to scan it to me so that we will know that you are trust worthy and honest and this for security reasons because we have lose alot of money on this kind of thing bcause when pple pick up funds for us then they will not send it to us again and will also not respond to our emails,and thats why the company is requiring for this details from you and below are the things required from you:

Your Name and Address:

Scan of your Driver License and SSN:

So i will be waiting for that now...

From Me:
John,

Well, you know, I love to make people happy! In fact, that's what I was doing before. I was making people happy. I had this business called Happy People. I sold these little pink pills to my friends and everyone came back saying it made them happy so I started a company! It went out of business after I got sued by someone who was obviously not very happy. That's why I'm out of a job now.

Anyway, I'd love to scan you all that stuff to you but I don't have a scanner! Where do I get one? I actually don't even know how I would buy one right now because I don't have any money. That's why I'm looking for the job. I tried scanning once using the CD rom on my computer but now I can't fit anything else in there, so it's not going to work. Can you send me a scanner?

Also, what do you look like?! Send me a picture!! Do you have an office over there in London? Are you married?
Eliza

Scamming a Scammer

This is going to be a series...
I got the following email after posting an ad for a job on Craigslist. I decided to create an new email address to mess with the guy. Who knew scamming scammers could be so funny?!?!

From John Doe (really his "name"):

Hello my company needs a trust worthy worker that can be our representative in the Us...we are located in Uk London but we need someone in the Usa to receive payments from our clients through Western union and send it to us here in Uk..Pls we need a responsible and reliable worker to do this for us..Okay Get back to me asap if you can do this job so that i will tell you what we require and also when you are emailing us back.pls make sure you include your Pics so that we can know the person that wants to work for us...Okay COMPANY INFO: CHARLES STANLEY & CO LIMITED HEAD OFFICE: London branch (Head Office) 25 Luke Street EC2A 4AR +44 (0) 20 7739 8200 WEBSITE: www.charles-stanley.co.uk

Letter from me:
Dear Mr. Doe,
Your company sounds great, and by the looks of your website you are really successful. I think you should be proud of your accomplishments and go ahead and use your company's email address instead of this yahoo.com one! Although, maybe you're trying to keep a low profile based on the amount of money you probably make. If that's case, good going. Its pretty clear that you're educated; why else would you use all the shorthand? Educated people don't have time to waste spelling out whole words, or even using abbreviations correctly. I also love your British accent. I mean, I'm assuming that's why you wrote out "Okay" at the end of every sentence. It's so cute. Anyway, I'm definitely willing to take receive unauthorized payments from your clients via Western Union so that I can send it on out of the country for you. I mean, make money by sending you guys money? That's a dream job. So just let me know when to pick up the first check and I'll do it. I'm attaching my picture, like you requested.
Sincerely, Eliza

Some days be good, Some days be bad

In January I was working 8 hours a day, driving for 2, and cooking/cleaning for 4. Now, in March, I spend 12 hours a day looking for something to do. Making lists at the end of everyday for the following morning aren't nearly as satisfying when they don't include, "Help a child to learn to read," and, "Plan your IEP meeting." My list currently includes:

• Work out
• Mop the front tile
• Finish the desk
  
• Wrap birthday presents
• Buy fabric for dog bed
• Call Susan
• Play with Charlie
• Vacuum

I'm just trying to trust that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be...with my little list.

Crock Pots and Babies

I found some great recipes for a crock pot today and I want to have a baby.

Redneck Drama

I decided to plant some annuals and herbs in a planter out front today (because I don't have a job). The redneck and his friend came home around 2pm and decided to walk to the fence and talk to Charlie. I finally engaged in friendly conversation with them. When I felt in a lull in the chat, I told them Charlie would be getting a sister soon. They promptly asked me if she was fixed, because they didn't want me to inbreed them. I quelled their fears. When asked where I was getting the new dog from, I told them Sarasota. Then-

Redneck: Oh I like Sarasota. You ever been to Siesta Key?
Me: No. Sounds nice, though.
Redneck: It's real pretty. We went down there to Disney World last week.
Me: Oh yeah? That sounds like fun!
Redneck: Yeah. Sure was. We camped at the KOA down there, road a bunch of rides. Spent the whole weekend. Then my wife left me.
Me: What?
Redneck: Which part.
Me: Your wife left?
Redneck: Oh. Yeah. She went to her mom's. She's done it before, but this time I think it's gonna stick.
Me: Wow. I'm really sorry.
Redneck: It's alright. She's got an energy drink problem.
Me: Oh. That's a shame.
Redneck: Yeah. It's better she be with her mom. I mean, her real mom was a prostitute and she only lived with her 'till she was three, but still those are formative years, you know?
Me: Oh absolutely! You're absolutely right.
Redneck: I mean, gull dern. (Not making this up...)

Waste

As I prepared dinner for my in-laws tonight, I turned Ellen on in the kitchen. Ellen and Oprah are two of the only daytime shows I'll watch because I can always count on the to be funny or interesting without paternity tests or chair-throwing. The guest on Ellen today was Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton.
Can anyone explain to me why Paris Hilton is still relevant? I got the feeling that Ellen treated some of the interview like a joke, but I still don't understand why anyone even gives this girl the time of day. In a short video clip, they showed Paris' house with a giant picture of herself on nearly every wall. Paris with puppies, Paris naked in a truck, Paris stretched out in a cat outfit. Paris called the video clip "cute" and went on to describe her new boyfriend, who was "cute", and how he got her a tea cup puppy for her birthday and how "cute" it was. She also explained how her dogs live in a mini-dog mansion complete with a chandelier. And the mansion, you guessed it, was "cute." With a 17 word vocabulary and the personality of a middle school girl, I just cant figure out why people encourage her fame.

I'm Pretty Too

Helena Christensen: "I eat like a pig!"
"I eat more than anyone I know," says Helena Christensen. "I'm obsessed! [Food] takes up about 75 percent of my brain. I eat like a pig!"




Hey Helena - Go fuck yourself.
(sorry mom)